I feel sick to my toes. Eating many lemon-flavoured “Fabulous Cupcake”s does that to you. Thanks, Fabulous Bakin’ Boys. Twats. What a waste of minutes this weekend has been! I left the house today and went to Meadowhall, thinking “Hey, it’s a Sunday. It’ll be empty. No need to put any make up on.” Apparently everyone thought that this afternoon. Except the last bit; every girl I saw was caked in face-goo of varying hues with every inch of hair perfectly captured in time with product and lashings of magic. And so forth I ventured to face-goo alley in Boots and leapt upon the Bourjois Paris collection. May Jesus bless you, “3 for 2″ offer! I emerged victorious, blinking in the heat, my hand clutching a bite-size Boots bag.

My new playthings are:

- Bourjois Paris Brush Foundation. That is some top shit. It is vaguely weapon-like; it’s basically a baton filled with creamy foundation, designed to be clicked furiously in order to wheedle a blob out through an attached brush and consequently lashed across the face in glee. Being Bourjois it smells divine, and I have to take care not to get carried away when brushing around the nostril area. The coverage is good enough to make you cry and lasts a good few hours before my face decides to eat it.

- Bourjois Brush Concealer. Fantastic colour but not as appealing smell-wise. It works wonderfully but use sparingly to avoid the reverse-panda look. If you have fine lines around the eyes avoid catching it in them; it highlights rather than hides.

- Bourjois Paris Effet 3D Les Nudes *BREATHE* in Rose Mythic. I could apply this all day. Shiny, soft lips. The tiny brush applicator is lovely for precise application and provides the perfect dose.

 I seem to buy a new foundation every other week. I only bought Benefit’s “Some Kinda Gorgeous” a fortnight ago and I’m already bored with it and the shiny bottom is peeking through a patch in the foundation – I haven’t even used that much! – definitely NOT worth my 20 beautiful pounds.

Enough cosmetics speak! I have two fivers on the shelf beside me and I’m already listing possible blusher candidates in my head. 

I flunked the assessment we had in English on Friday. Completely. I was all ready to compare two transcripts and then discovered we’d only have to analyse one! And it was the most uninspiring thing ever. I wrote about half a page (when you discount all the scribbles) and it got me so wound up; I found myself sobbing in the toilets. Who cries in toilets? It would appear that I do. Oh fucking hellllll. I’m a Toiler Crier.

Defendable, though! I have researched this bloody topic till my brain would accept information no more! I have a lot to do this year and me failing this has gone and frozen me in my tracks. I can’t let it get me down because I know where that can drag me. I said I’d do it again over the weekend but I can’t motivate myself. I don’t know how to start the thing or how to structure it.

Ah well. I’ll have to start up my breathing exercises again. Jesus Christ.