I am exhausted. I’ve done nothing all day except eyeball the television and make a few pancakes. Might’ve got ‘tennis elbow’, if you can catch that from pancakes. I think I’m going to have to use my left arm more or I’ll end up lolling over to my right with my knuckles scraping against the ground like a one armed monkey carrying a lot of shopping.

Wait, what? 

I’m watching QI, Stephen Fry is wearing a lovely tie. Gosh! I have to stop rhyming words that end in the “eye” sound. I wrote a poem about a spy watching a coconut shy, towards which birds fly as they are escaping the baker with the pie who raises his fists to the sky as his eyes twitch and cry and it ends with the spy shooting a passer-by. It would seem I’m more loony than depressed this evening. I’ve been flicking through my book of sleep-deprived scribbling (I was sleep deprived, not the wee scribbles) and came across something I wrote about preparing a sandwich on a pillow because there were no plates spare. 

I can remember one of my counselors suggesting I bring in a diary of how I feel and things I do if I found it difficult to talk. What the fuck would they think of me!? Haha.

I hate writing “haha”.

The Cambridge Encyclopedia of the English Language by David Crystal is such a cracking read. I’m not even joking, I thought my teacher was being a bit weird when he kissed his book but now I can see why. It. Is. Perfect. Reading about the evolution of the linguistic mishmash that made up Old English is enough to keep me up at night. Oh yes. For me it’s like cracking into a honeydew melon and savouring it’s sweet insides and being able to then appreciate that beneath that exterior is such gorgeousness. 

I’m starting to get perverse about language.

I’ll stop.

My head’s a bit full this evening and my entire body can feel it. It’s like the thoughts are rushing around my veins, getting dragged down by gravity and sending my right leg into tapping mode.

Fucking sellotape. What a beauty. I sellotaped my index and middle fingers together on each hand yesterday to make something resembling claws but my fingers started to ache so I don’t think I should do it again. Yes I am glancing at sellotape right now. And also glancing at Stephen’s sweaty fringe. I love that fringe.